Another year, another Valentine's Day. If you didn't know that today is Valentine's Day then shame on you. Your local retailer (Target, Walmart, CVS, Walgreens, etc.) have had a section devoted to February 14th since at LEAST January 1st. And if you're like me and waited until yesterday to get a card, you likely will have noticed among the bare shelves that not only has the St. Patrick's Day stuff found itself a shelf, but the Easter crap has also started to be put out now. (Side bar: Can't we enjoy one holiday before being reminded that another one is coming up in a few months? Stop cramming holidays down my throat, retailers!!!)
We all know that the economy is an absolute piece of crap right now. Not everyone has the money to get that dozen roses, box-o-chocolates, perfume, large teddy bear, or other cliched Valentine's day gift. What is a guy or gal to do? Well, leave it to The Incident to come up with a few ideas for you that won't break the bank. I offer you the following "strong economy" selections with the "shitty economy" alternative for this Valentine's Day!
Strong Economy: Sentimental Hallmark Card with glitter, pretty fonts, & poems
Shitty Economy: Piece of paper, cut out in a heart shape, with a fitting poem or song lyrics written on it in your own John Hancock. (If you have the extra funds, splurge on a doily and rock that bitch third grade Valentine's style!)
Strong Economy: One dozen red dozes delivered to your sweetheart
Shitty Economy: One red carnation with a little note tied to it
Strong Economy: Box of Godiva chocolate truffles
Shitty Economy: Bag of Valentine's Day themed M&M's
Strong Economy: Giant stuffed teddy bear
Shitty Economy: Medium to small stuffed animal of any kind from your local Dollar Store
Strong Economy: Beyonce's new fragrance
Shitty Economy: There is no alternative here. Do not, I repeat, do NOT buy any smell-a-like perfume. You can't get that smell out and no matter what the box says, they never smell the same. You're likely to ruin the mood and make everyone vomit. Remember "Sex Panther" from Anchorman? Yeah ... same deal.
Strong Economy: Dinner at a nice restaurant and a movie out
Shitty Economy: Chinese delivery and Netflix
So there you have it. Cheap ways to survive this Hallmark Holiday in this shitty economy. Hope everyone survives the day - single or accounted for!
- The Incident
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.