Where's My Sock Monkey? He Was Supposed to Pick Me up An Hour Ago!

A few days ago, one of my friends and I were watching TV and that Kia Sorento ad came on - I'm sure you know the one. It features (left to right, as pictured above) our friends Mr. X, Robot, Muno, Sock Monkey, and Teddy Bear, all cruising around in their flashy Kia Sorento. (click here to see the full ad that originally aired during the Super Bowl).

While we were watching the ad, which I have seen countless times and quite enjoy, I suddenly found myself laughing quite uncontrollably. My friend could not get me to stop. "What is so funny?" "Can you breathe?" "Please don't pee your pants, I just cleaned the covers on that sofa." Those were all comments made while the ad ran its course on TV.

When I finally caught my breath and stopped laughing, I was able to explain that the song playing in the background ("How You Like Me Now" by The Heavy) was really to blame. I turned to my friend and said, "How You Like Me Now? Well, if I'm being honest, Sock Monkey, you're a bitch for not picking me up and taking me for a ride sooner!" And then I broke into hysterics again.

Perhaps this needs more of an explanation. Often times, for no apparent reason, my mind will visualize things that cannot happen. For instance, I frequently laugh when I hear the title track to "The Sound of Music" because I envision a tiny, snow capped mountain with sharp rock teeth chasing me. Per the lyrics, "The hills are alive ..." That's really all it takes.

But this ad takes things a step further. The Sock Monkey, in my opinion, is the star of the ad. He rides the mechanical bull, he drives the car, he gets a tattoo. This is a Sock Monkey that I could quite easily get along with. The beauty part is that I didn't have to imagine what it would be like to hang out with this gang of toys - the proof is in the ad! I don't want to go out and buy the car (sorry, Kia), but I ABSOLUTELY do want that damn Sock Monkey to hurry up and get to my house so we can go on a road trip and cause shenanigans across the Continental U.S.!!!

So seriously, where the hell is Sock Monkey? The clock is ticking and I really want to step out on the town.

- The Incident